


What is Real Love?

by orphan_account



Category: Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Lack of Communication, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:46:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21866953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “What am I supposed to do? Everyday, 24/7, all we do is argue. Do you even know what the fuck this event is for? I don’t, I just came so I wouldn’t have to be at home arguing with Chris all night.”Alternatively titled: Anthony Mackie to the rescue
Relationships: Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan
Kudos: 59





	What is Real Love?

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for all the love on my other fics. I wanted to try my hand at angst. I hope you enjoy this <3

The stain on the carpet was a nasty burgundy, spread out in front of the couch. The wine glass was on the floor too, lying over the stain like a dying body drowning in its own blood. 

Chris looked down at the stain, eyebrows drawn tight and lips sealed into a thin, angry line. 

“I’ll clean it up,” Sebastian mumbled, ending the tense silence. 

He wasn’t sure if Chris—still staring at the carpet in a daze—had even heard him, but he shuffled past him to grab paper towels anyway. 

When he returned, Chris was still standing in the same spot. Sebastian got on his knees to blot at the carpet. As he watched the paper towel soak up the wine, he looked up at Chris, trying to read him. He found Chris already looking at him, same unreadable expression on his face—was it anger or _pain?_

“What are we doing?” Chris asked him. 

Sebastian didn’t have an answer. Chris knew he wouldn’t. 

——  
Eagerly taking the chance to escape the noisy chatter, a small group gathered around a piano, entranced by the pianist’s fingers smoothly dancing on the keys. 

Sebastian stood from a distance close enough to watch the pianist but far enough from the small crowd he didn’t feel welcome in. He focused on the music—a gentle song, simple, rather than grand and sweeping—and looked around the room. Groups of people sat at round tables with white tablecloths and seemingly endless supplies of champagne. Oblivious to the slow music from the piano, they were deep in conversation, some leaning in close to talk lowly while others were leaning back, slapping a hand down on the table and loudly laughing at each other’s jokes. 

He inhaled, welcoming the familiar taste of cigarette smoke. 

“Thought you quit,” Mackie, grabbing Sebastian’s shoulders from behind, interrupted. 

“Hey, yeah,” Sebastian turned to face him, “I did. But I need one tonight.” 

Mackie frowned at that. His eyes scanned the crowd of celebrities wearing their best outfits, prepared to mingle with each other at another extravagant party that no one could even remember the reason for. His eyes settled on Sebastian again.  
“Rough night? What’s going on, man? Talk to me.” 

Sebastian shrugged, an abrupt motion that slightly wrinkled his tailored suit.  
“Chris. Every time we talk, we argue,” he placed the cigarette back in between his lips. 

Mackie clicked his tongue as he nodded in understanding. He wasn’t sure what he hated more: the fact that his best friends and favorite couple were fighting, or the fact that Sebastian was so stressed that he had resorted to smoking again. 

“I think he wants me to quit acting.” 

Mackie’s head snapped up, alarmed by what he had heard. He stared at Sebastian—who was looking past him, eyes scanning the crowd as he continued to smoke his cigarette—waiting for an explanation. 

“Hey, man,” Mackie gently plucked the cigarette out of Sebastian’s mouth, “None of that. What’s going on? Why do you think that?” 

Sebastian licked his lips as he pondered a response to his friend’s question. He wanted— _needed_ —the cigarette back. He was fidgety and felt overwhelmed by his own thoughts. 

“I know, but we can’t have you slipping back into these old habits. These are bad for you, remember?” Mackie lightly waved the cigarette in the air to emphasize his point. 

Sebastian absentmindedly nodded as his eyes wandered around the room again. His gaze fell back to the pianist, whose fingers were gingerly coaxing a melancholy tune out of the grand piano. 

“He keeps mentioning all the projects I’ve picked up,” Sebastian started, finally addressing his friend’s question, “He’s, like, upset, I guess, that we don’t get to spend enough time together.” 

He met Mackie’s eyes again and was greeted by a look of genuine concern. 

“Sorry to hear that,” Mackie shifted his weight ever so slightly, trying to get his body to adjust to the discomfort of standing for so long. 

Sebastian took the cigarette out of Mackie’s hand. Predictably, Mackie protested and reached to grab the cigarette back, safeguarding it from Sebastian. Sebastian held up a hand to stop him and pointed to an ashtray on a table a few feet away. He discarded the cigarette and, with Mackie still in tow, took a seat at the table. 

Sebastian placed his forearms on the table and clasped his hands before leaning towards Mackie, which was Sebastian’s way of initiating a quiet, private conversation in a not-so-quiet setting. 

“What am I supposed to do? Everyday, 24/7, all we do is argue. Do you even know what the fuck this event is for? I don’t, I just came so I wouldn’t have to be at home arguing with Chris all night.” 

“Are you two talking or just shouting at each other? You can’t reach a middle ground if you’re just angry with each other.” 

Sebastian took a deep breath. He leaned back in his seat and nodded as he rubbed a hand over his tired face. 

“Go home, sit him down, and have a real talk with him while you can.” 

——  
Sebastian stared at the wet carpet, stained a light red now. It was a good start; he could finish the job later. 

He sat down on the couch and gestured for Chris to sit next to him. 

Stubborn Chris, almost pouting now, hesitated for a moment. He gave in and sat next to his partner, knowing that being childish wouldn’t resolve anything. 

“We need to talk. We can’t just yell and get angry at each other. I love you. Do you still love me?” 

“Of course I do,” Chris responded quickly, “Why would you even ask that?” His formerly sullen features now hardened into a look similar to anger, but not quite as fiery. 

“It doesn’t feel the same,” Sebastian shrugged, “We’re always shouting at each other now. We just need to calmly discuss this for once and go from there, ok?” 

Chris nodded as his eyes stared at the red spot on the carpet. 

“I’m not quitting acting.” 

“Never asked you to,” Chris retorted without even looking up. 

With a heavy sigh, Sebastian used his index and middle fingers to tilt Chris’s chin so they were making eye contact.  
“Then tell me what you want me to do.” 

“Take a break, maybe. I know—“ he interrupted Sebastian’s spluttering protests, “I know you love it, but you pick up so many projects. We never see each other anymore, and when we do, I feel bad because I can tell that you’re exhausted.” 

“I’m not taking a break,” Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest and fixed Chris with the most stern look he could muster.

“Really? You’re not even willing to compromise?” 

Sebastian, arms still crossed over his chest, stubbornly chose not to respond. He still wore the stern expression on his face—the same one he had as a child when his mom told him _no_ and he did it anyway. 

“Fine. Call me when you care,” Chris stood from his seat on the couch, “I’m leaving.”

“Where are you going?” Sebastian stood, too, and willed himself not to follow Chris on his path to the door. 

“Anywhere. Away from here. Away from this,” and with that, Chris practically stomped out of the New York apartment, slamming the door behind him. 

His only regret was waking the neighbors. 

——  
At six in the morning, Sebastian’s alarm woke him. His head was pounding, and he began to feel sick when he remembered last night’s argument. 

He didn’t bother to go after Chris when he left. Didn’t text or call him, either. Sebastian didn’t want to admit it, but he was one stubborn man. Mackie had told him that they needed to come up with a compromise, but Sebastian just wasn’t really willing to give up doing what he loved most. Chris’s reaction was only making Sebastian more stubborn. 

Sebastian stretched and stood up, pressing the back of his curled index finger to his right eye to rub the sleep out. 

He couldn’t sit around and think about what the fight meant for his and Chris’s relationship. He had a flight to catch and work to do. 

——  
Sebastian sat on the couch in Mackie’s trailer with his legs stretched out in front of him, staring at his scuffed boots. 

“Don’t tell me you two broke up,” Mackie groaned from beside him. 

Sebastian shrugged. He wasn’t really sure if they were broken up now or just in a really, really bad fight. 

“Remember when I gave you really good advice and told you to come up with a compromise? Why doesn’t anyone ever listen to Anthony?” 

“I’m not quitting acting,” Sebastian huffed as he felt tears prickling at his eyes, “I’m not quittin’ for anybody or anything.” 

Understanding the issue now, Mackie nodded to himself and scooted closer to Sebastian.  
“Hey. No one’s asking you to quit anything. I’m proud of you and I know Chris is, too.” 

“I don’t know how to...not do this. You know? How do I just stop and take a break? I have an audition next week. I don’t think I can just stop,” he took a deep breath, “and Chris just stops whenever he feels like it. And I don’t understand it. Isn’t that kind of scary? I don’t think I can stop.” 

“You’re restless? And on top of that, scared to stop working?” 

Sebastian licked his chapped lips and nodded in confirmation. 

“Why are you scared?”

Sebastian shrugged and looked away from Mackie, trying to stop the tears from falling. 

Mackie, the absolute saint, completely understood. He silently waited for Sebastian to gather himself so they could continue their conversation.  
“Whenever you’re ready,” he softly told Sebastian. 

Sebastian tried to stifle a sob in his throat.  
“I think I’m scared because I don’t want to—I can’t undo any progress, you know? What if people get bored of me while I’m gone?” 

Mackie gently patted Sebastian’s leg.  
“They won’t. You’re talented, man, and you’re here to stay. You have movies coming out next year and we have The Falcon and The Winter Soldier—have you forgotten why we’re here already?” He used an elbow to nudge Sebastian, who absolutely _giggled_ at his response. 

“Point is, you have nothing to worry about. People love you. Your fans are loyal. You’ll be fine, Seb.” 

Sebastian wipes a few stray tears off his cheeks, sniffled, and finally smiled at his friend.  
“Thank you. I guess I needed the reminder.” 

“No need to thank me, that’s how I do!” Mackie whooped, pumping a celebratory fist in the air as Sebastian laughed for the first time in what felt like forever. 

“I should call Chris, shouldn’t I?” Sebastian groaned and stood to retreat to the privacy of his own trailer. 

Mackie patted him on the back as Sebastian stood.  
“You’ve got this. Let me know how it goes,” Mackie called after him. 

——  
“Chris,” Sebastian breathed into the phone as soon as it indicated that Chris had picked up. 

“Yes?” 

He sounded guarded, as if he was upset but knew it wouldn’t be fair to be childish right now. 

“I hate fighting with you,” he took a deep breath before continuing, “and I’m sorry things got out of hand. I think I just misunderstood what you were asking of me. And you’re right, I work myself too hard sometimes. I’m restless and don’t always know how to take a break. I’m sorry for being so stubborn and not at least hearing you out.” 

“I’m not entirely innocent in this, either. I...I shouldn’t have pushed you so much. I was being stubborn, too. And I’m sorry for that.” 

“I guess we could’ve solved this a lot earlier if we had just communicated, huh?” Sebastian rolled his eyes at himself, thinking back to the long days and nights of screaming at each other without even listening to what the other was saying. 

“Definitely. Would’ve saved us a lot of time and pain,” Chris chuckled. 

“I think I’m gonna pull out of that audition I was planning on doing,” Sebastian mumbled into the line as he looked around his practically untouched trailer. 

“You don’t need to cancel anything, I—“

“Yes, I do,” Sebastian interrupted, “I’m gonna spend my breaks from filming with you. I could use a break, and we would finally be able to spend quality time together.” 

“I’d love that,” Sebastian could almost hear the grin in Chris’s voice as he spoke. 

“We’ll spend every break I get from filming the show together. As soon as filming is over, I’m officially taking a break. For you. For us.” 

“As glad as I am to hear that, please don’t do this for me. If you’re feeling restless or get an offer you can’t refuse, take it. I just want us to be able to spend time together before our schedules get crazy again.”

Sebastian heard a knock on the door that he immediately recognized as Mackie’s. He opened the door and put a finger to his lips, signaling that Mackie needed to be quiet until he got off the phone. Mackie nodded as he stepped into the trailer and closed the door behind him. 

“Ok. I—yeah, I can do that. That sounds good. Fair.” 

“I’m glad. Thank you. We should’ve handled it like this from the beginning. I’m sorry.” 

“Hey, I’m not innocent in this, either,” Sebastian reminded him, trying to keep Chris from beating himself up about it, “where are you, by the way?” 

“Some shitty hotel. Well—it’s not _shitty,_ it’s just not...home.” 

Sebastian bit his lip, trying not to cry in front of Mackie for the second time that day.  
“You have my key. Go home. Please.” 

Sebastian caught Mackie’s eye. Mackie’s arms were crossed as he waited, but his eyes gleamed and his face was softened by a look of complete endearment. Sebastian rolled his eyes at Mackie’s face-splitting smile, but couldn’t stop the smile forming on his own face. 

“I think I need to go, Chris. But I’m serious, please go home. I’ll be there over the weekend.”

“Okay. Good luck with filming. I’ll see you soon. I love you,” and with that, the call ended. 

“How sweet. I’m guessing you two worked everything out?” 

“Yeah...the issue wasn’t as big as we were making it. At all. It’s kinda embarrassing that it turned into such a big fight.” 

“See? You two thought you were listening to each other but you weren’t at all. You were just hearing whatever supported your argument. Come on, man,” Mackie nudged him. 

“Alright, alright. You were right, I’ll admit it. Fuck,” Sebastian chuckled as he nudged Mackie back. 

It was visibly noticeable that a weight had been lifted off of Sebastian. He looked lighter—the lines on his forehead were fine, he didn’t look as tired anymore, and the glint had finally returned to his eyes—it was a relief to Mackie, who had started to worried about Sebastian. 

A knock at the trailer reminded them that they were supposed to be working right now. 

“Shit—what are we filming again?” Sebastian mumbled to Mackie as he went to open the door. 

“Don’t ask me, man, don’t ask me.” 

——  
The glass was mended, the wine stain completely faded, the tears dried. It served as an eternal reminder, their own personalized reminder that “this, too, shall pass.”

They had to learn to put their stubbornness aside and listen to each other. It seemed so simple—why was it so difficult? 

Despite the drawn-out arguments littered with agitating stubbornness and frustrating misunderstandings, they made it work every single time. Because they knew each other. Because they refused to give up, even when it seemed like they would. 

This is real love.

**Author's Note:**

> happy ending bc I couldn’t break my babies up! True Love for the win :) thank you for reading
> 
> [Visit me on tumblr!](https://ughtheirpower.tumblr.com)


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